So I get a little jealous of people who see the world in a black and white kind of way. I view things through a million different lenses. It’s what makes me good as a therapist. In the psychic world there’s clairvoyance, the ability to “perceive” things…and there’s clairsentience, the ability to feel the emotional states of others. And…I’m like the psychic therapist. I feel what other people feel when they see what they see.
Have you seen this article about high IQ.
All I’ve got going for me is that I don’t smoke. In school I was never known as the braniac. I was usually pretty happy to just keep up with the average folks. But I do as well as I do in life because of my high emotional quotient. My EQ is off the charts. I’ve never actually had it tested…but, I’m the physic therapist. I just know these things.
Anyway…a friend recently emailed me this cartoon.
[ comic by Tatsuya Ishida ]
And I laughed. And then I laughed again because I saw it another way. I read some of the trilogy of 50 Shades of Grey…but my brain works so poorly in some areas, I couldn’t remember much of it. I remember finding the story interesting, but the writing tedious, and the sex scenes boring. But I couldn’t remember more details than that. (That’s more than I usually remember. I was watching TV last year and a commercial came on for Saving Mr. Banks. I told my husband, “We need to go see that.” He replied, “We already did.”) I immediately wanted to remember more about the story (because I felt a 50 Shades of Grey post coming on.) But I knew I didn’t have time to go back and read the books. So that left me with the option of going to see the movie…which hadn’t really crossed my mind up to that point. (It’s hard to justify spending money on things you know you won’t remember.)
Now if I was a black and white kind of person, the decision to see that movie or not would have been easy. But no. I’m a rainbow of colors, as my husband can attest. (Because he’s the one that has to listen to me talk about every shade of every color.) Many people see this film as pornography, and I can feel and understand the multitude of feelings surrounding that. I’ve also had many clients that read the book, and I could feel what it would be like for them to run in to their therapist at the showing.
To top it all off, on Oscar night, I saw Melanie Griffith and Dakota Johnson on the pre-Oscars show, and I could feel Melanie’s deep desire to support her daughter, as well as her need to say no to seeing this movie. Cause you know…It’s racy. And as a mom of teenage daughters, I really felt her no pretty good. But ultimately what I finally felt the strongest was my need to remember what I had forgotten about it…because something was nagging at me. So I called up my bestie and we went and saw it last Sunday morning.
And I remembered what I (and everyone else) seemed to have forgotten about the story. Christian Grey was raised by a prostitute who died when he was 4. He was then adopted by a wealthy family and his wealthy new mom’s friend sexually abused him (making him her submissive sexual partner when he was still a child.) Although I have to say…I’m not sure how they got an R rating on this one, I’m not sure this counts as pornography, which is defined as “material intended to stimulate erotic rather than emotional feelings.” Well…ok. Maybe it’s part porn. But there’s also an emotionally rich story here.
Christian Grey himself says he’s 50 shades of effed up. Not only is he willing to take Anastasia’s no for an answer…but he wants all of her limits in writing so he doesn’t cross the line. I remembered that that’s why I was interested in the story…because it’s one I deal with when I work with couples (as well as one I deal with in my personal life.) all the time. Negotiating a sexual relationship is often not easy. We’re all a little effed up in our own unique way. But when you’re 50 shades of effed up, it’s even harder.
In response to the movie I said a little prayer…for all the abused children out there who, when they grow up, deserve to have love in their lives. For all the people brave enough to enter into relationships with those who’ve been abused or have any other kind of effed-upness. For all the people who want to keep other’s safe from addictions that can cause harm. For all the parents who support their children, even when it is sometimes kind of weird and hard. For all the funny writers and cartoonists who make me laugh a million different ways. And for my bestie, who I can call up last minute and go see a movie like 50 Shades of Grey with. I love you all.
This pic is a little harder to explain. For the full story you’ll have to read the book.
Here’s an attempt at a quick definition.
Knights(Dames) go on quests for the Holy Grail
In Arthurian Legend the Holy Grail = Christ’s Cup
Christ’s cup = Love
So basically this picture represents a big ol’ cup of love.
The love in me toasts to the love in everyone.